I'll Follow You Into the Dark Ch. 2

Minutes. Minutes went by while my mouth hung agape. My throat was being rude. Selfish, even. It would not push any words out. Dear God, I must look like an idiot.

“Hey Cesc, it’s..uh…er…me. Yeah, me.” I managed to stutter.

“What the hell are you doing?” He yelled. Not in a cruel way, just so I could hear him.

“Afternoon nap?” I mumbled.

“Huh?

Wait, I’m coming in. Unlock the door.”

He fumbled for a few seconds as we played the age-old cat and mouse game with the automatic lock.

I never wanted this to happen. For us to see. Or speak. Or even breathe the same air. It would lead to disaster like everything we had touched. Everything we touched turned to shit. Shame, I just got my car carpet shampooed too.

Jesus. He was beautiful. I always joked with him that he was the pretty one in the relationship. I always said it as a joke, but now it was obvious. It was obvious in the way his eyelashes framed his face. Made him look, lovely even. The look that I hadn’t managed to contrive with many swipes of mascara. It came out of the woodwork that his eyelashes weren’t the only things I was envious of.

“Seriously, Chlo. What the hell?”

Chlo. Oh, Fuck me. Why did he have to call me that?

That’s stupid. He simply didn’t know. He didn’t know that “Chlo” meant “I’ll love you forever and ever.” Or, “Don’t let go.” Everytime someone called me “Chlo” I immediately felt our ankles entwined on lazy Spanish summer afternoons.

My throat was doing that thing again. Maybe it knew something I didn’t. Probably.

“I was bored.”

“You were bored. So you decided to be creepy in a parking lot.”

No. I was bored, so I decided to see if you could feel my essence and smell my perfume in the midst of 75,000 screaming fans.

“Well, I heard you guys were playing today, so… I wanted to see what all the hype was around the new player.”

“Chlo, I don’t give a shit why you came to the game today. I want to know what you are doing in the players’ parking lot, and why your make-up is smudged, and…..”

Chlo. Chlo. Chlo. Chlo. Chlo. Blahblahblahblahblahblah. SHUT UP. It’s only Chlo if we’re fucking, I want to tell him. It’s Chloe to you now.

“Cesc…I…er….I….”

C’mon girl. Out with it. Where is your way with words when you need it the most? Twist them into a magical spell in cradle him in your arms again and swath him in your sheets… do it.

“I miss you.”

Well, that was profound. Shocking. This is the best I could do. Shit, I’m losing my touch.

He sighed and tried to avert his gaze so our eyes wouldn’t meet. If we looked at each other right in the eyes, we would cry together. He was a sensitive boy. So he would start first. I thought I saw some tears welling up in there. I could’ve been my imagination.

“Truthfully….Me too.”

There were no waterworks, though. I used to know him well. Used to. There was more to be said, for there would be no happy reunions tonight. Cesc would make sure of that.

“It’s all over now. I’m really happy. I’m signing my new contract, my mom’s getting the proper medical treatment, everything’s going very fantastic. Aren’t we a little too old for all of these fairy tale games? I don’t have the energy for the chasing or the heartache anymore. We’re too old.”

“We’re twenty.” I retorted.

He was clearly becoming frustrated with me. He rolled his eyes. He used to think it was cute when I was a smart ass. Used to.

“Chloe, you remind me of when I was at my worst. When I held that pistol to my brain. When they thought I would never be able to set foot on the field again. The endless hospital visits and stupid medications….” He whispered.

Huh, he got it right this time. Baby, call me Chlo again. I want to feel my ankles on yours.

“I’m so sorry.”

Here we go. Tears flop everywhere, even with some projectile. Glamour girls had tears that slid. His new girl had tears that slid elegantly down her rosy cheeks. Not me.

“I remember the good times, though. The way you felt. And tasted. And smelled.” He whispered longingly.

Ah, so he did smell me.

“I knew you were here, actually.” He chuckled.

“How do you mean?”

“God, this sounds totally stupid and crazy, but…I felt your essence. I always could. And I’ll always be able to.”

Eyes locked. Chocolate on Hazel.

Boom.